Lost bad triathlete?

 Sorry bloggy, I know I've been neglecting you....

The truth is, I'm not really sure what to say. It was a rough June.

My grandmother passed away at the age of 93 and just a few days later we experienced a tragic loss of one of Chris' friends while we were on the Trek Across Maine.

The marathon events still live inside my thoughts every time I go running. I can so easily picture myself just standing in the middle of Kenmore so confused and upset.

Basically, everything has been a little off lately.

I have forced myself to keep training but it's been really hard. I've lost a lot of faith in humanity. I don't want to bike any more. Cars are just jerks. I know there are a lot of people on bicycles (I'm not going to call that type cyclists) who act terrible when they are on the roads and put drivers/pedestrians/themselves at risk when they are out on the roads. I can assure you that myself and the people I ride with are not like that. The saying you learn when you first start biking is, "it's not IF you are going to get hit, it's WHEN."  You have to think though, as a driver is it really worth killing or permanently injuring someone who is on a bike? I know it can be frustrating driving around bikers but you basically have that biker's life in your hands when you drive past them. Do you want to explain to your friends/family/children that you killed a cyclists? It's just not worth it...

Nonetheless, I keep trucking along. I know this isn't the happiest of posts but I think I just needed to get my thoughts out there.  I really love everything triathlon has brought into my life and it just makes me sad that I've been feeling flat lately and scared to do the activities I love.

However, I finally had a great run the other night where I finally felt like my old runner self again. 6.24 quick miles where I got a nice healthy dose of runner's high. A bunch of teammates and I are doing the Patriots Place 10k where you finish across the 50 yard line in Gillette Stadium so I'm hoping that will help my racing spirits to be lifted.

We can all laugh that the "C" in "CAT" that I wrote on my arm for the Marathon is still permanently fixed to my arm:

Here's to a happier July (it is my birthday month after all!)